Action Figurism One fine Saturday afternoon I stepped out of my favourite magazine-place and saw this blonde girl (long hair, sides shaved) in a long, golden, patterned overcoat striding across the square. I thought: "She'd make a really, really good action figure." There's a lot of that turn yourself into a brand talk, but turning yourslef into a cool toy is just so much more appealing and memorable. Most of us wouldn't make it though. We'd sit in the toy stores forever, kids wouldn't want dull, jeans-and-tee-clad action figures with no cool weapons or other accesories. Action Figurists (people who'd make good action figures) come in many styles, bikers would make one good action figure, but a bunch of them? No way, too much of the same, they'd be like a posse of leatherclad Stormtroopers in leather, simply too much leather. Action figures are sold seperately: One of each type/style/look, that's the rule. Body modification and gyms have done a lot for action figurism, because action figures are always over the top and the whole 'your body is a fucking themepark' thing is spot on. Have you seen the difference between the 1970'ies Luke Skywalker figure and the 2000'ies one? Even Mark Hamill's mum's laughing her ass off at all the extra muscle they added to her little farmboy. Oh yeah, skaters, sponsored skaters, sponsored surfers, sponsored snowboarders are extremely action figuristic because if you froze them in time, they'd have that action figure stance, they're characters, they have cool accesories. Advertising is always over the top, and the fact that the sponsored skaters, surfers and snowboarders are advertising stuff makes them a strike force of live Volcom action figures or something, actually, they should produce a range of real action figures. (Real meaning little plastic things.) Kids would play with their favourite skater and be exposed to some company logo at the same time, that's what advertising is all about, right? Hmm, back to that girl on that fine saturday. One of the things that was really working (apart from the fact that she was hot, I'm not trying to kid you, off course she was super hot) was that she had a colour scheme. Blonde + gold was definitely working on the action figure level, it was simple, cool and not to be messed with. Off course it can allways go too far and become ridiculus. It often does. Again the biker is a good example, but some people manage to pull it off when others would fail. That's where attitude comes in, if you're already over the top, you may as well continue, strap a samurai-style flag to your back and walk down the highstreet, if you've the right attitude, it'll work. People will notice you at least. And really blowing it through the roof is way better than that guy I saw last summer wearing a Tee with an eye, a heart, the number 2 and a screw on it. jeez... I remember spotting this ninja walking barefoot down the street when I was a kid. It was right after two girls had made fun of me becuase I was pretending to be a boxing, clanking giant killer robot. I thought i was alone in the street so making clanking killer robot noises with my mouth while shadowboxing didn't seem the crappy idea it actually is when other people are watching. Anyway, some part of me was pretty sure that this fella wasn't a real ninja, but another part of me knew that he was way more of a ninja than I was a boxing, clanking giant kille robot. Either way, I remember it, so the action figurism of it worked nicely. So go on, get out there and be an action figure. Postscript (2006) I actually wrote this little piece before getting into the designer toy scene, before I even knew there was one. So this relates to fashion, not toys.